Raising a Child and Finding Myself


Guest Post by Vivi

Every mom has a juggler in them. Not the throw three balls up in the air kind of juggler (although that would be really cool). I’m talking about juggling the overwhelming responsibilities that we live with day in and day out. Relationships. Child/ren. Work. Friends. Finances. The list goes on.

For me, one of the most difficult aspects of staying at home is juggling raising my child and keeping my identity. It is easy to get caught up in being a mother and put myself on the back burner. After all, I just want what is best for my son. But two years into this role and the dozens of books I have read on parenting have shown me the truth that taking care of myself is the best way I can take care of my son.

Here are three simple steps I have been working on to keep my identity while raising my child.

Acknowledge what I am Already Good At
I’ve realized that skill sets are transferable. My organization skills that helped me graduate from college? They are handy for setting a routine in our house. My creative skills I used to plan numerous events? They play a big role during arts and crafts time with my son. No matter what my strengths are, there are ways to make them useful in my role as a mother.

Discover where I Can Grow
Let’s face it, I’m not perfect. Yes, I would like to keep my identity, but I also know that there’s room for me to grow. I’m not very savvy in the kitchen? There’s time for me to learn to cook healthy meals for the family. I’m not the most patient person? There’s plenty of practical exercises provided by my toddler. Instead of resisting change, I try to welcome and nurture it.

Do Activities that I Used to do before Having a Baby
It can be as simple as reading a book, window shopping, or having coffee with my friends. Anything that I enjoy doing that does not involve my son’s immediate needs. I carve out some me time, even if it just comes in ten-minute spurts here and there. I know that it’s worth it, so I leave behind the mom guilt and I take a break.

Motherhood is now a part of me that I cherish more than any other. But I also know that I will always be working on keeping my identity as a person. Finding the balance requires continuous mindfulness. So if you are a mom and today you feel overwhelmed with juggling, you are not alone. I hope that all of us today will take some time to treat our souls and take simple steps to nurture some kind of personal joy in our identities.

Vivi is a wife, mother and blogger at the Everyday Mrs. and Mama. Say hi on Instagram @everydaymrsandmama.